I hate feeling depressed all the time. I wish I was happy and just care free, and not have the weight of the world on me. But that's how it feels sometimes. With everything going on nowadays it seems like I will never catch up. Everything just piles up until I can't do nething about it.

My mom really pissed me off last night. So two weeks ago, I gave my dad 100 dollars cuz he said he really needed it. Then my mom said she would pay me back cuz my dad originally asked her for money. I hadn't thought about my money for a while until last night. So she came home and had her little dispute with my dad like usual, then with my aunt. Then she comes in my room. I look at her and ask her "When am I going to get my 100 dollars back?". Then she asks if we can give the money to my sister. Now I'm thinking, "HELL NO!". I know my sister and her husband don't need any money. My Brother-in-law is in the navy and he gets a lot of money. So I said no to her and she said I was being selfish. I told her that it was my money and that I decided to not giver her ne money. Then she reminds of the phone bill that i needed to pay back but I had already told her that I was going to pay her back when I had enough money. She gives me the money and she looks at my car keys hanging from the lamp. She goes over to them and starts to remove them from the ring and says "Well to teach u to save money, Im going to take the keys away." At this point I am yelling at her, asking what I did wrong, getting louder each time I spoke.

My yelling then gave my dad the signal to come up stairs. He asks, "what's going on?" and I basically told him what happened. He then turns to my mom and says, "Why do you have to come home and make trouble? First you rag on me, then ur sister, and now ur son. You come home and do all this...." He mumbles a little as he walks off. I was really happy that my dad took my side. My mom was dead silent when he left. She gave me back the key and then both of them started to argue again.

I didn't really care about them arguing. I was just happy that I was actually right for once. My mom needs to be out in her place. I'm just glad I get to use the car tomorrow.

Well football season is finally over. I kind of miss it though. It just puts in perspective that this was the Seniors last football season and most of us won't see them ne more. Yeah sure they might come back next year and visit at those rare times during the year but after we graduate; it's highly doubtful. But not just the Seniors but my class too. I have basically one more year with them too. It's just kind of sad to think about. Besides it's too early to even worry about it.

But now that football season is over, I have the play to think about. We open in one more week and I don't think we're ready. Atleast I don't think Im ready. I'm still have trouble getting my lines to flow. I know my blocking and everything, it's just i keep stumbling on some lines. I hope everyone that I want to come are able to come.

 

 

I hate putting so much effort into something then have it blow up into ur face later on. I'm not gonna plan anything anymore. It's just a waste of time to even bother.

Well yesterday's football game wasn't really much of a surprise. We lost but I still had a pretty great time. I asked my mom to go to the game but I didnt get to find her. I forgot that she said she would be there only until 8. I checked my voicemail after the game and I found out that they had been on the visitors side the whole time.

And so today is the Homecoming Dance and i'm basically winging everything tonight.Oh well.

Well, nothing really exciting has really happened. Yesterday I finally got my license. I was really happy, to a certain point. What sucks though is that I can't drive until my dad puts me on the insurance or whatever. Last night he took mom's car to drive to work. I just think it's because he doesn't trust me. Which is probably the right thing to do. I probably would have gone out driving.

I am really glad that I am taking classes at the College. Well that's my feeling for right now. I'm hoping that I'm not going to regret this feeling because right now I am afraid of the workload that I will be getting. For right now I don't really have many classes to worry about. I just have First Aide/CPR and English 101.

First Aide/CPR was an ok class. Not very much people in the class though. I was really happy about that. Most of the people that are in the class are Running Start Students. My teacher seems ok but with my luck he'll probably be a major prick in the 2nd week.

My English was really cool. A little crowded though. But my teacher is Polish and she has the greatest accent. The only crappy part is though that we have essays due every two weeks and we have the to read them in peer groups, not in front of the class, but small groups.

Well I have no Homecoming plans yet. Louanne, Cathy, and Matt...well I think Matt were planning for all four of us to hang out someone else house and watch movies but we haven't decided. I don't feel like going to Homecoming and spending 80 dollars on a tux that I'm only going to use for one night. Plus I have to work that night.

So auditions for the fall play were today. I wasn't really nervous at first but later on once everyone started to go in the auditorium, my stomach started to feel like it was in knots. Once I got in the auditorium, I was nervous but got over it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, all we had to do was read. Hopefully tomorrow I make call backs. I think this will be my first call back at the highschool. All the other times, they already made a cast list.

Totally forgot I had this pic on my camera. This was the night of the Band Lock-in. I took the pic during the infamous game of "BUNKO"

So...went out for Pizza with Matt, Louanne, and Cathy. They had to wait for me clean up and stuff. I had to lock them in the dining room so they wouldn't mess up the floor after I just mopped. Then we went to Pizza Hut. I pretended to be excited for the place mats they had out. They had puzzles and crosswords. I stopped after people were looking at me, plus the others were started to get embarassed.

It took us awhile to decide on our order. The waitress had to come by for the 3rd time to finally get our orders. The night was pretty ok. I got tired though, like I usually do.

 

Took my driving test yesterday. It sucked! It didn't start off so well. Right when I parked in the Test area my dad said that it wasn't straight enough and I got frustrated with him because I thought it was straight enough. Plus he didn't really how to teach me park.

So the start of the test was ok. I was nervous but I got over really quick.  And so the lady was like "Unfortunately you do not qualify", which of course disappointed me. She told me I wasn't centered enough when I did my parallel parking and that I was too close to the IMAGINARY Car. I got marked down for "Lane traveling" and what really marked me down were turn signals. I don't know whether it was not turning on the signal or turning it on soon but it really marked me down. Oh well, there's always next Saturday.

Well this Saturday going out for Pizza with Matt, Louanne, and Cathy after work. Man...I am really glad I did Band this year.